Archives for posts with tag: Humor

Strange Ladies Cover Final

As I was reorganizing some files, I came across the full text of this review of Strange Ladies: 7 Stories that was published in the Book Brothers Blog. Here ‘tis:

“When the Book Brothers first received a copy of Strange Ladies: 7 Stories, we were immediately intrigued by the title. What can we say, there has always been a soft spot in our hearts for strange ladies. So, we decided to tackle Strange Ladies immediately and the results were not disappointing (no pun intended).

Strange Ladies is a short and easy read you can probably breeze through in a quiet evening or two. The 7 shorts presented are all entirely different from one another, each creating a vibrant picture of its setting and inhabitants. Even the character dialogue in each story is clearly defined. Lisa Mason does not strike us as an author not willing to take chances.

The first tale is titled, The Oniomancer. It follows a Chinese-American bicycle messenger by the name of Chinadoll. Chinadoll is a punk rocker, living in a world full of eccentric characters. She has a penchant for finding things and one day comes across a strange item in the streets. This object will change her life forever.

Guardian tells the tale of a Vaughn Kennedy, a woman purchasing her first home. Vaughn is very much like you and me, struggling over simple day-to-day decisions. However, when a thief threatens the neighborhood, Vaughn turns to an unlikely source for protection.

The story Felicitas introduces us to yet another Strange Lady. In this tale, we are introduced to a young Mexican illegal immigrant who also happens to be a shape shifter. She sits in her cell awaiting her execution and reflects on her past.

Stripper follows an exotic dancer by the name of Sashi, who has the unique ability to bend the space-time continuum. This story is complex, but has some interesting underlying themes challenging preconceived notions about female sexuality and gender roles. Oh, and she also fights the mafia.

In Triad, we are introduced to Dana Anad, who lives half the time as a woman and the other half as a man. This is another gender bending tale that challenges traditional male/female roles. It is a unique love story not quite like anything we have ever read before.

Destination was inspired by an actual event in Lisa Mason’s life. In it, the female lead, Sal, decides to take three strangers cross-country in exchange for gas money. While they are traveling, the radio warns of a serial killer on the prowl. What starts off as a traditional horror tale soon becomes much more with twists and turns on the road you won’t see coming.

Finally, Transformation and the Postmodern Identity Crisis, tells the story of what happened to Wonderland after Alice decided to stumble through the rabbit hole. This is far darker territory than Tim Burton ever dared take such classic characters, though told with humor and wit.

Each story is cleverly crafted and unique. You won’t feel like you are treading over rehashed plot devices on this journey. This is not literature for those lacking in brain cells. These stories are complex and often require the reader to venture outside of their normal “reality.”

Lisa Mason might just be the female Phillip K. Dick. Like Dick, Mason’s stories are far more than just sci-fi tales, they are brimming with insight into human consciousness and the social condition.
Strange Ladies: 7 Stories
is a sci-fi collection of excellent quality. If you like deeply crafted worlds with strange, yet relatable characters, then you won’t want to miss it.”
http://www.thebookbrothers.com/2013/09/the-book-brothers-review-strange.html#more

So there you have it, my friends. I love short stories! Share the love here!

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories (“A must-read collection—The San Francisco Review of Books). On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/Strange-Ladies-Stories-Lisa-Mason/dp/1981104380/

From the author of Summer Of Love (a Philip K. Dick Award Finalist and San Francisco Chronicle Recommended Book). On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle worldwide in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. BACK IN PRINT! Find the beautiful trade paperback at https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Love-Travel-Lisa-Mason/dp/1548106119/

The Gilded Age (a New York Times Notable Book and New York Public Library Recommended Book). On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle worldwide in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. BACK IN PRINT! Find the beautiful trade paperback at https://www.amazon.com/Gilded-Age-Time-Travel/dp/1975853172/.

Arachne (a Locus Hardover Bestseller) is an ebook on US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle worldwide in France Kindle, Germany Kindle, Italy Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, Spain Kindle, Mexico Kindle, Brazil Kindle, India Kindle, and Japan Kindle. Back in Print! Find the beautiful trade paperback at https://www.amazon.com/dp/198435602X.

Cyberweb (sequel to Arachne) is on US Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also Kindle worldwide on UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Brazil Kindle, France Kindle, Germany Kindle, India Kindle, Italy Kindle, Japan Kindle, Mexico Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, and Spain Kindle. Back in Print at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1984356941.

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories (“A must-read collection—The San Francisco Review of Books). On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle world wide in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/Strange-Ladies-Stories-Lisa-Mason/dp/1981104380/

One Day in the Life of Alexa (“Five stars! An appealing narrator and subtly powerful emotional rhythms”). On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle worldwide in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. Order the beautiful trade paperback NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/One-Life-Alexa-Lisa-Mason/dp/1546783091.

The Garden of Abracadabra (“Fun and enjoyable urban fantasy . . . I want to read more!) On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle worldwide in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT! Find the beautiful trade paperback at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1978148291/

Celestial Girl, The Omnibus Edition, A Lily Modjeska Mystery (Five stars) On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle worldwide in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Shaken (in Asimov’s Science Fiction Magazine) on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Hummers (in Fifth Annual Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror) On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Daughter of the Tao (in Peter S. Beagle’s Immortal Unicorn) on US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in AustraliaFrance, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Every Mystery Unexplained (in David Copperfield’s Tales of the Impossible) on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Tomorrow’s Child (In Active Development at Universal Pictures) on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

The Sixty-third Anniversary of Hysteria (in Full Spectrum 5) on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

U F uh-O (Five Stars!) on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Tesla, A Screenplay on US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

My Charlotte: Patty’s Story on Barnes and Noble, US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Netherlands, and Mexico.

“Illyria, My Love” is on US Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Germany Kindle, France Kindle, Spain Kindle, Italy Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, Japan Kindle, Brazil Kindle, Mexico Kindle, and India Kindle.

Please visit me at Lisa Mason’s Official Website for all my books, ebooks, stories, and screenplays, reviews, interviews, and blogs, adorable cat pictures, forthcoming works, fine art and bespoke jewelry by my husband Tom Robinson, worldwide links, and more!

And on Lisa Mason’s Blog, on my Facebook Author Page, on my Facebook Profile Page, on Amazon, on Goodreads, on LinkedIn, on Twitter at @lisaSmason, at Smashwords, at Apple, at Kobo, and at Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

If you enjoy a title, please “Like” it, add five stars, write a review on the site where you bought it, Tweet it, blog it, post it,, and share the word with your family and friends.

Your participation really matters.
Thank you for your readership!

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Strange Ladies Cover Final

As I was reorganizing some files, I came across the full text of this review of Strange Ladies: 7 Stories that was published in the Book Brothers Blog. Here ‘tis:

“When the Book Brothers first received a copy of Strange Ladies: 7 Stories, we were immediately intrigued by the title. What can we say, there has always been a soft spot in our hearts for strange ladies. So, we decided to tackle Strange Ladies immediately and the results were not disappointing (no pun intended).

Strange Ladies is a short and easy read you can probably breeze through in a quiet evening or two. The 7 shorts presented are all entirely different from one another, each creating a vibrant picture of its setting and inhabitants. Even the character dialogue in each story is clearly defined. Lisa Mason does not strike us as an author not willing to take chances.

The first tale is titled, The Oniomancer. It follows a Chinese-American bicycle messenger by the name of Chinadoll. Chinadoll is a punk rocker, living in a world full of eccentric characters. She has a penchant for finding things and one day comes across a strange item in the streets. This object will change her life forever.

Guardian tells the tale of a Vaughn Kennedy, a woman purchasing her first home. Vaughn is very much like you and me, struggling over simple day-to-day decisions. However, when a thief threatens the neighborhood, Vaughn turns to an unlikely source for protection.

The story Felicitas introduces us to yet another Strange Lady. In this tale, we are introduced to a young Mexican illegal immigrant who also happens to be a shape shifter. She sits in her cell awaiting her execution and reflects on her past.

Stripper follows an exotic dancer by the name of Sashi, who has the unique ability to bend the space-time continuum. This story is complex, but has some interesting underlying themes challenging preconceived notions about female sexuality and gender roles. Oh, and she also fights the mafia.

In Triad, we are introduced to Dana Anad, who lives half the time as a woman and the other half as a man. This is another gender bending tale that challenges traditional male/female roles. It is a unique love story not quite like anything we have ever read before.

Destination was inspired by an actual event in Lisa Mason’s life. In it, the female lead, Sal, decides to take three strangers cross-country in exchange for gas money. While they are traveling, the radio warns of a serial killer on the prowl. What starts off as a traditional horror tale soon becomes much more with twists and turns on the road you won’t see coming.

Finally, Transformation and the Postmodern Identity Crisis, tells the story of what happened to Wonderland after Alice decided to stumble through the rabbit hole. This is far darker territory than Tim Burton ever dared take such classic characters, though told with humor and wit.

Each story is cleverly crafted and unique. You won’t feel like you are treading over rehashed plot devices on this journey. This is not literature for those lacking in brain cells. These stories are complex and often require the reader to venture outside of their normal “reality”.

Lisa Mason might just be the female Philip K. Dick. Like Dick, Mason’s stories are far more than just sci-fi tales, they are brimming with insight into human consciousness and the social condition.

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories is a sci-fi collection of excellent quality. If you like deeply crafted worlds with strange, yet relatable characters, then you won’t want to miss it.”
http://www.thebookbrothers.com/2013/09/the-book-brothers-review-strange.html#more

So there you have it, my friends. Keep on keepin’ on.

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories (“A must-read collection—The San Francisco Review of Books). On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/Strange-Ladies-Stories-Lisa-Mason/dp/1981104380/

From the author of Summer Of Love, A Time Travel (a Philip K. Dick Award Finalist and San Francisco Chronicle Recommended Book). On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. BACK IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Love-Travel-Lisa-Mason/dp/1548106119/

The Gilded Age, A Time Travel (a New York Times Notable Book and New York Public Library Recommended Book). On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. BACK IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/Gilded-Age-Time-Travel/dp/1975853172/

The Garden of Abracadabra (“Fun and enjoyable urban fantasy . . . I want to read more!) On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1978148291/.

One Day in the Life of Alexa (“An appealing narrator and subtly powerful emotional rhythms”). On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/One-Life-Alexa-Lisa-Mason/dp/1546783091.

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories (“A must-read collection—The San Francisco Review of Books). On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands. NOW IN PRINT at https://www.amazon.com/Strange-Ladies-Stories-Lisa-Mason/dp/1981104380/

Arachne (a Locus Hardcover Bestseller). On US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle in France Kindle, Germany Kindle, Italy Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, Spain Kindle, Mexico Kindle, Brazil Kindle, India Kindle, and Japan Kindle. SOON BACK IN PRINT!

Cyberweb (sequel to Arachne). is on US Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Brazil Kindle, France Kindle, Germany Kindle, India Kindle, Italy Kindle, Japan Kindle, Mexico Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, and Spain Kindle. SOON BACK IN PRINT!

Celestial Girl, The Omnibus Edition (A Lily Modjeska Mystery) (Five stars) On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Shaken On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Hummers On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Daughter of the Tao On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in AustraliaFrance, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Every Mystery Unexplained On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Tomorrow’s Child On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

The Sixty-third Anniversary of Hysteria On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

U F uh-O On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Tesla, A Screenplay On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

My Charlotte: Patty’s Story On Barnes and Noble, US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Netherlands, and Mexico.

“Illyria, My Love” is on US Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Germany Kindle, France Kindle, Spain Kindle, Italy Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, Japan Kindle, Brazil Kindle, Mexico Kindle, and India Kindle.

Please visit me at Lisa Mason’s Official Website for all my books, ebooks, stories, and screenplays, reviews, interviews, and blogs, adorable pet pictures, forthcoming works, fine art and bespoke jewelry by my husband Tom Robinson, worldwide links, and more!

And on Lisa Mason’s Blog, on my Facebook Author Page, on my Facebook Profile Page, on Amazon, on Goodreads, on LinkedIn, on Twitter at @lisaSmason, at Smashwords, at Apple, at Kobo, and at Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

If you enjoy a title, please “Like” it, add five stars, write a review on the site where you bought it, Tweet it, blog it, post it,, and share the word with your family and friends.

Your participation really matters.
Thank you for your readership!

4.23.16.UFO.MED

1
Great Expectations

Pasadena is a wood-burning oven, Josh a piece of meat, as he pulls his Volvo spattered with bumper stickers up to Happy Daze Family Clinic.

Nikki hops out and boogies over to the driver’s side, doing the trademarked bump-and-grind she used to do as the lead guitar of Chicks in Chains. Today she’s flower-child chic in skinny white jeans, a pink camisole, and suede ballet flats. Not rocker-chick sleek in black leather and sky-high boots like in the old days. But he can’t help but smile. Damn, she’s hot. He hasn’t seen his wife this stoked since they got married four years ago.

Now if only he could stifle the regret in his heart.

She leans in his window. “She’s gonna be your kid, too, babe.”

“Or he. She could be a he.”

“Absolutely.”

“I hope I haven’t let you down, Nikki. You know I’m crazy in love with you.”

“I know, hubby of mine.” She kisses him sweetly on the lips, gazes deeply into his eyes. Then bumps-and-grinds around the Volvo, waves bye-bye, and dances through the front door of Happy Daze.

Josh sighs, watching her go. He wants this because she wants this. But that doesn’t mean he has to like what she wants. He’s pretty sure he’d be perfectly happy living the rest of his life, just him and Nikki.

He pulls out into frantic traffic, scanning the curbs for a parking space. Three grand for a freakin’ turkey baster, he mutters to himself, and the clinic hasn’t even got a parking lot.

* * *

Nikki takes a form on a clipboard from the receptionist, plops down in the plastic seat next to a lacy girly-girl studiously filling out her own form. Fingers fumbling, Nikki promptly drops the pen.

The girl, in a flouncy peach dress and prim two-inch heels, picks up the pen and hands it to her.

“Hey, thanks. I’m kinda nervous, you know?” Nikki is jumping for joy Josh has agreed to her plan, sure, but she’s also jittery as hell. “Making a baby with a stranger and all?”

“Me, too. But excited. Really, really excited.”

“Yeah. But my guy, he’s a bit downhearted we couldn’t make a baby on our own. He couldn’t.” She laughs ruefully. “Not for lack of trying.”

“Oh, my husband got over that when he saw his test results. What must be, must be.” She holds out her hand. “I’m Gretchen.”

Nikki expects a limp little handshake, receives a hearty knuckle-gripper. “Nikki. What a place to meet, huh?”

“It’s a perfectly respectable place to meet.” Gretchen smiles, as radiant as a madonna in a Renaissance painting. “Bad things happen to good folks, that’s what my Mike says. You carry on, is all.”

“It’s great we’ve got alternatives. Modern science, right?”

“Oh yes, thank the good Lord! Mike’s really, really excited, too. He comes from this big, huge family. We’re chompin’ at the bit to start a family of our own.”

Nikki fiddles with the pen. “Yeah, us, too. How cool is that?”

* * *

Josh cruises down Allen Avenue past Pasadena City College, hangs a right on Del Mar. Curses on this traffic! He sits in a fume-spewing gridlock for a solid ten minutes, which gives him way too much time to think things over.

Maybe Nikki had always been too skinny. She had been one of those girls who lived on black coffee, cigarettes, diet pills, and air-popped popcorn. That’s how she fit in her scary-skinny black leather. He read somewhere that a lot of times anorexics can’t conceive later in life.

But, wait. There he goes again, blaming her. He knows very well the tests showed the problem was his low sperm count. They had tried in vitro. It hadn’t helped.

Suddenly an Acura lurches out of a parking space. Josh squeals up, shifts into reverse, and starts backing in, slow and methodical. That’s how come there’s not a scratch or a dent on the geriatric Volvo he’s driven all over L.A.

Now a Ford pickup truck with an American flag flapping on the radio antenna swerves over and muscles into the space.

Damn! Josh yanks the parking brake, storms out of the Volvo, confronts the driver as he climbs down from the cab.

“Hey! That’s my parking space, man.”

The driver grins, a beefy jock in a security guard’s uniform. “I don’t see your name on it, moron.”

“I can’t believe this! My wife is getting knocked up by a turkey baster, and I can’t find a freakin’ parking space.”

“Some guys have all the luck.”

The jock strides away, cutting across the campus, northbound. What a jerk, Josh fumes. That’s the only way he’ll ever set foot on a college campus.

* * *

Nikki and Gretchen hand in their forms and their clipboards to the receptionist, a drill sergeant of a lady in a navy-blue linen pantsuit who orders them to take their seats till their time is called.

Wow. Wow. Nikki feels that thrill of destiny like when she first met Josh in the check-out line at Trader Joe’s. Or when she first stood onstage at the House of Blues. She smiles, a little guilty, to herself. Which had been the bigger thrill? That’s a tough call.

“I guess it’s the silver lining,” she says. “In the cloud, you know? I always wanted my kid to have some musical chops like me. A double whammy of Mozart genes can’t hurt, so we asked for a donor with some proven do-re-mi talent.”

“So did we!” Gretchen says. “When I was a kid, I trained at classical piano. I’d love for my child to play, too.”

Classical piano?

“Wow,” Nikki says, impressed. “I just used to play lead guitar for Chicks in Chains.”

“Oh, I loved Chicks in Chains!”

“Really? Got a fave tune?”

“‘Kiss My Ass,’ what else?”

“Well, all right!”

Nikki and Gretchen bump fists, their wedding rings clinking.

Nikki sighs. “Those were the days. Now I sell life insurance. At least it’s a living.”

* * *

Josh jogs up to the front door of Happy Daze just as the beefy jock is about to push inside.

The jock holds the door open for him. “Ladies, first.”

Josh barges in. “Brains before shit-for-brains.”

* * *

Nikki leaps to her feet at the sight of her Josh, so cuddly in his T and jeans, his hair a frizzy ‘fro in the Pasadena heat. She smooches his fuzzy cheek.

“Hey, babe. Everything cool?”

Gretchen leaps to her feet, too, and flings her arms around a macho dude in some kind uniform with a holster and everything. “Valiant Security Service” reads the logo stitched across his broad shoulders.

“Mike! Darling! This is my friend Nikki. You won’t believe it! She used to play with Chicks in Chains and she and her husband asked for a donor with musical talent just like we did, and she’s here to make a baby, just like me!”

Nikki’s not sure why her guy and this other guy are glaring and snarling at each other like junkyard dogs.

“Um, babe? This is my new friend Gretchen and uh . . . you’re who?”

“Mr. Mike Williams, to you,” the macho dude says.

“Mikey and me,” Josh says, “we’ve met.”

U F uh-O is on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

So there you have it, my friends. Take a break from the stress of the world and try this!

From the author of Summer Of Love, A Time Travel (a Philip K. Dick Award Finalist and San Francisco Chronicle Recommended Book). On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

The Gilded Age, A Time Travel (a New York Times Notable Book and New York Public Library Recommended Book). On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Time Travels to San Francisco (boxed set of Summer of Love and The Gilded Age). On US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, Spain, Brazil, Mexico, India, and Japan.

Arachne (a Locus Hardover Bestseller). On US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle in France Kindle, Germany Kindle, Italy Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, Spain Kindle, Mexico Kindle, Brazil Kindle, India Kindle, and Japan Kindle.

Cyberweb (sequel to Arachne). is on US Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Brazil Kindle, France Kindle, Germany Kindle, India Kindle, Italy Kindle, Japan Kindle, Mexico Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, and Spain Kindle.

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories (“A must-read collection—The San Francisco Review of Books). On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

The Garden of Abracadabra (“Fun and enjoyable urban fantasy . . . I want to read more!) On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Celestial Girl, A Lily Modjeska Mystery (Five stars) On Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Shaken On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Hummers On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Daughter of the Tao On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in AustraliaFrance, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

Every Mystery Unexplained On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Tomorrow’s Child On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, India, Mexico, and Netherlands.

The Sixty-third Anniversary of Hysteria On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

U F uh-O On BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

Tesla, A Screenplay On US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, BarnesandNoble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on Kindle in Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, and India.

My Charlotte: Patty’s Story On Barnes and Noble, US Kindle, UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, and Kobo. On Kindle in France, Germany, Italy, Spain, Brazil, Japan, Netherlands, and Mexico.

“Illyria, My Love” is on US Kindle, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Kobo, and Smashwords. Also on UK Kindle, Canada Kindle, Australia Kindle, Germany Kindle, France Kindle, Spain Kindle, Italy Kindle, Netherlands Kindle, Japan Kindle, Brazil Kindle, Mexico Kindle, and India Kindle.

Please visit me at Lisa Mason’s Official Website for all my books, ebooks, stories, and screenplays, reviews, interviews, and blogs, adorable cat pictures, forthcoming works, fine art and bespoke jewelry by my husband Tom Robinson, worldwide links, and more!

And on Lisa Mason’s Blog, on my Facebook Author Page, on my Facebook Profile Page, on Amazon, on Goodreads, on LinkedIn, on Twitter at @lisaSmason, at Smashwords, at Apple, at Kobo, and at Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

If you enjoy a title, please “Like” it, add five stars, write a review on the site where you bought it, Tweet it, blog it, post it,, and share the word with your family and friends.

Your participation really matters.
Thank you for your readership!

Knocked Up meets E.T

Nikki and Josh really want a child but have infertility issues. Gretchen and Mike have the same problem. When Nikki meets Gretchen at the Happy Daze Family Clinic in Pasadena, they discover that they share a love of music and have asked for a donor with musical talent.

Nine months later, they give birth to very unusual babies and, seeking an answer to why the kids are so special, they meet again at a pediatrician’s office.

And the search is on!

Who—and what—is Donor Number 333?

U F uh-O, A Sci Fi Comedy started out as a screenplay for a producer looking for a science fiction comedy like Galaxy Quest or Men in Black and became a novella. Prose writing is so much more fun than scriptwriting!

5 star review on Amazon for U F uh-O, A Sci Fi Comedy

A very clever humorous novella! July 26, 2013

By Mark Abrams

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase

I had never read any work by this author, but I met Lisa on Facebook and twitter and she seemed a very nice person. For that reason, I thought I would try one of her books, but I really had no expectations; being a nice person is no proof that she will be able to write. As it turns out, she also was an excellent author!
By about the time I was halfway through the book, I found myself very involved with the characters and wholeheartedly cheering them on! I took a chance on someone I never read before and was rewarded by finding another favorite author. It wasn’t until I had finished the book and read the end material that I learned that she had many other works published and some with pending movie contracts.
I would highly recommend this 82 page funny novella to anyone who enjoys a well written book with excellent character development in unusually subtle ways. Read this little book and I’m sure you will be as pleasantly surprised as I was. I am looking forward to reading more of her works as I’m sure you will be, too!

U F uh-O, A Sci Fi Comedy is on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, Sony, and Smashwords.

From the author of Summer Of Love, A Time Travel (a Philip K. Dick Award Finalist and San Francisco Chronicle Recommended Book) on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, Kobo, and Sony;

The Gilded Age, A Time Travel on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, Sony, and Smashwords;

The Garden of Abracadabra, Volume 1 of the Abracadabra Series, on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, Sony, and Smashwords;

Celestial Girl (A Lily Modjeska Mystery) on Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, Kobo, and Sony;

SHAKEN on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, Sony, and Smashwords;

Tomorrow’s Child on BarnesandNoble, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Apple, Kobo, Sony, and Smashwords,  and

Strange Ladies: 7 Stories on Nook, US Kindle, Canada Kindle, UK Kindle, Smashwords, Apple, Kobo, and Sony.

Visit me at Lisa Mason’s Official Website for books, ebooks, stories, and screenplays, forthcoming projects and more, on Lisa Mason’s Blog, on my Facebook Author Page, on my Facebook Profile Page, on Amazon, on Goodreads, on LinkedIn, on Twitter at @lisaSmason, at Smashwords, and at Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

If you enjoy this title, please “Like” it, add five stars, write a review on the site where you bought it, Tweet it, blog it, post it,, and share the word with your family and friends.

Your participation really matters.

Thank you for your readership!

For something fast, fun, and free exclusively on Kindle Select, give U F uh-O, A Sci Fi Comedy a try! But only until March 1, 2013.

Knocked Up meets E.T

Nikki and Josh really want a child but have infertility issues. Gretchen and Mike have the same problem. When Nikki meets Gretchen at the Happy Daze Family Clinic in Pasadena, they discover that they share a love of music and have asked for a donor with musical talent.

Nine months later, they give birth to very unusual babies and, seeking an answer to why the kids are so special, they meet again at a pediatrician’s office.

And the search is on!

Who—and what—is Donor Number 333?

U F uh-O, A Sci Fi Comedy started out as a script for a producer looking for a science fiction comedy like Galaxy Quest or Men in Black and became a novella. Prose writing is so much more fun than scriptwriting!

The novella is free exclusively on Kindle! But only til March 1, 2013.

From the author of The Garden of Abracadabra, Volume 1 of the Abracadabra Series, on Nook and Kindle, Summer of Love, A Time Travel (a Philip K. Dick Award finalist and San Francisco Chronicle Recommended Book) on Nook and Kindle, and The Gilded Age, A Time Travel (a New York Times Notable Book and New York Public Library Recommended Book) on Nook and Kindle.

Visit me at Lisa Mason’s Official Website for books, ebooks, stories, and screenplays, forthcoming projects and more. And on my Facebook Author Page, on Amazon, on my Facebook Profile Page, on Goodreads, on LinkedIn, on Twitter at @lisaSmason, and at Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America.

If you enjoy a work, please “Like” it, add some stars, write a review on Amazon or Barnes & Noble, and spread the word to your friends. Your response really matters.

Thank you for your readership!

New! Summer of Love Serials 1 through 7 are free exclusively on Kindle!